WORKING THROUGH ROOMMATE CONFLICT

Communication and respect for one another are key!

Living successfully with a roommate requires flexibility and the willingness to communicate in an open and honest, yet tactful, manner. Sharing with a roommate goes beyond shared living space. Differences in personalities, habits, stresses, schedules, and lifestyles may result in conflicts. The responsibility for developing a living environment compatible to both individuals belongs to both residents.

If you find yourselves faced with a particularly difficult situation, talk with your Community Development Advisor (CDA). CDA's are trained to assist residents with roommate conflicts. You may also contact your Residence Hall Director (RHD) directly if you are struggling with roommate issues, or just if you have some questions about how to create a more positive living experience.

One way to help avoid potential conflicts and misunderstandings is to discuss your expectations of each other as roommates sooner than later. By establishing these ground rules early, and by keeping the lines of communication open, roommates can increase their chances of having a positive experience.

Take some time to discuss issues and get everything out in the open; do not let them build up and subsequently boil over! Sharing your feelings and reactions on certain issues and topics will also help you both in understanding and empathizing with each other while sharing. When conflicts arise, reflecting on these topics and communicating openly can help resolve disputes before they become unbearable. Listed below are suggested topics to discuss with your roommate(s):

Suggested Roommate Topics for Discussion:

• Study habits (times/areas)
• Noise levels (music/TV)
• Security (locking doors/windows)
• Gatherings
• Hygiene/Cleaning (how often, by whom)
• Borrowing Items
• Sleeping habits
• Food (sharing/cooking)
• Room temperature

Additional Discussion Items:

• The way I react to most people when I first meet them is. ..
• What I would like to tell you about my family and community I grew up in is.
• What I miss most being away from home is . . .
• My hobbies and interests are . . .
• The way I would like to decorate our room/apartment is . . .
• Some things I like to spend money on are . . .
• When I'd rather be left alone, I will . . .
• I usually let people know I'm angry by . . .
• When I'm feeling sad or upset, I usually. ..
• Something that always cheers me up is ...